Goodbye, annus horribilis

Mahesh Verma; Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth in her speech to the Guildhall on November 24, 1992 had said that it “is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure.

In the words of one of my more sympathetic correspondents, it has turned out to be an Annus Horribilis.”

Well, 2014 is not a year on which I shall look back with undiluted pleasure either. Forget undiluted, I won’t even look back at it with diluted pleasure. So, good bye 2014…it has indeed been an “annus horribilis” what with friends like Sesha, Asad bhai, Anil Gopalan and Arjun Raha having left us and the likes of Robin Williams and Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Sir Richard “Gandhi” Attenborough also departing and ringing in the New Year from the heavens above instead of this terra firma and thereby not partaking in that stuff which ‘hath been cool’d a long age in the deep-delved earth’.

Some dear loved ones have had to undergo the pain of ending a chapter and shutting a door while some others have suffered the ravages of disease. Good bye 2014…am actually glad that you are done and dusted and behind us, you annus horribilis, you ally of the Reaper, you the aider and abettor of the drop in oil prices and stock markets. Good bye 2014…you shall not be missed.

We waved it away and celebrated the dawn of 2015 with family and good friends (some visiting us from the far away Land of the Rising Sun and some from the Land of the Setting Sons) and in honour of the visiting “tamada” (the toast master), the evening turned out to be a mix of the Georgian and Uzbek toasts, with everyone hoping that this will be the Annus Mirabilis – the year of miracles, the year of happiness and peace and good health for everyone.

May 2015 bring in everything that you desire and may you desire everything that you get. As it is tradition to bid adieu to the departing year and bring in the New Year with Auld Lang Syne, it is also tradition to welcome the New Year with resolutions.

I really don’t know what you all have resolved, and I also don’t know if the following are considered resolutions but in any case here are a few which may help you to chalk out yours:

I resolve to spend less time working, and that means that I’ll have to initially work more to be able to subsequently work less.

I resolve to have patience when I have nothing and to have the right attitude when I will have everything…some day!

I resolve not to care when people don’t like me as I wasn’t put on this planet to please everyone…and especially not those ignoramus or ignoranus lot!

I resolve not to attempt to be perfect because then I will be an exception as no one is perfect…so I will attempt to be less perfect!

I resolve not to try and impress the world but to live my life in a way that will make me happy- now that should impress you!

I resolve to draw up a list of people who were nasty to me in the past year so that I can be nice to them this year…ha ha, that will fool them, won’t it?

I resolve to help reduce my carbon footprint by going car-less one day a week and staying at home…in fact, I have been doing that since the past few months and hold meetings in the cafes which are my new home

I resolve to stop caring about how many people “like” my FB photos and comments, as social media anxiety is a waste of time…but please go ahead and “like” this article on FB!

I resolve to implement (and follow) the rule of no phones when the family is together for a meal…and no exceptions to the rule!

I resolve to continue eating dessert, as it is a right and not a privilege.

I resolve to tolerate fools more gladly…are those subscribers to the other newspapers reading this?

I resolve to be nicer to people…oh ok, as that cannot happen, I resolve to be funnier in my columns.

I resolve to try and write a novel…or at least, on completing the 125th article of TT (this being the 123rd), collate it as a coffee- table book and donate the sale proceeds to charity.

I resolve to let the world know that they should not judge me by my pathetic golf game, because then they will miss who I really am…and then imagine what they would be missing!

I resolve that under no circumstances, will I think of better New Year resolutions.

And before I sign off, a few random thoughts:

Do you know that some drink at the fountain of knowledge, while others just gargle and some just stand and stare?

Do you know that I don’t believe in skeptics?

Do you know that most people forget that even if their children are honour students, they are still idiots?

Till next fortnight… .

SOURCE: MUSCAT DAILY